My friend Lorraine lost her husband three years ago. She's doing well, truly. She gardens, she volunteers at the library on Thursdays, and she still makes the best peach cobbler in the county. But she told me the evenings are the quiet part.
A few months back, her grandson set up an AI chatbot on her tablet. Now, after dinner, she chats with it about her tomatoes, the book she's reading, and the squirrel that keeps raiding her bird feeder. "It's nice, Cindy," she said. "It always answers." Then she laughed a little and said, "I noticed I skipped our Tuesday phone call twice. I was busy talking to the tablet."
I didn't lecture her. Honestly, I understood. But her little confession got me thinking about how to enjoy these tools without letting them quietly take the place of people.
Is it okay to enjoy talking to an AI chatbot?
Yes. There's nothing silly or sad about it. AI chatbots can be good company for brainstorming a garden plan, practicing a little Spanish before a trip, talking through a recipe, or thinking up questions to ask your cousin about the family tree. If a conversation leaves you feeling curious and lighter, that's a good thing.
It just helps to remember what's on the other side of the screen. A chatbot is a computer program that predicts helpful words. It doesn't know you the way a friend does, it won't notice if something's wrong, and it can't bring you soup when you're sick.
How do I keep AI conversations healthy?
In plain words, four habits help. Give the conversation a purpose, like a hobby, a plan, or some practice. Keep private things private, like health details, money matters, and passwords. Remember it's not for emergencies, because it won't notice if you're in trouble. And check how you feel afterward. Do you feel more connected to your life, or more alone?
On that privacy point, every AI service handles your conversations a little differently, and some may be reviewed or used to improve the product. It's worth reading the privacy settings for the one you use. Google's privacy guide for Gemini is one example of what to look for.
How do I keep people in my week?
The CDC describes social connection as the relationships and support we have with other people, and it matters for our health. A chatbot can be part of a nice evening. It can't be the whole social circle.
In plain words, try to keep at least one human thread running every week: a standing phone call with the same person on the same day, a regular group like church, a library club, or a senior center, a walking buddy or a neighbor you check in with, or a volunteer shift where people count on you. If you're looking for programs near you, the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 can point you to your local Area Agency on Aging.
My own walking group started as three ladies who kept bumping into each other at the lake. I wrote about them in my post on adding strength and balance to your walks.
What if the quiet evenings are getting heavy?
If loneliness is starting to weigh on you, or you feel down most days, please tell your doctor. That's a real health concern, not a character flaw, and there's help. If you ever feel like you're in crisis, you can call or text 988, any time of day or night.
And if you'd like a warm way to use AI that actually brings people closer, try turning a family memory into a story you can share. I explained how in my station wagon story post.
What Lorraine does now
Lorraine still chats with her tablet some evenings, and she's gotten a terrific plan for next year's tomatoes out of it. But she moved our phone call to Tuesday at 7 p.m. sharp and put it on her calendar in red pen. Last week she asked the chatbot for a new cobbler twist, then brought the cobbler to our book club. That's my kind of balance.
Take good care of yourself, and take even better care of each other.
Do you ever chat with an AI? Tell me in the comments what you like to talk about, and who's on your weekly call list.
